Hmmm

So, this happened to be my... shall I call it, melancholic week.

Yeah. Fuck. Melancholic.

Whatever.

I was there on the bed, resting my head for awhile. And for heaven's sake, Jakarta has been so hot lately.

...I listened to some songs...




Have you ever, 
ever lost something you can't replace 
but you still, 
you still search anyway 
And the earths in reverse it's so lonely in the crowd 
And I scream in my pillow and I break

Pixie Lott -- Black as Rain

Forget your problems
Lay down inside of
The innocence of what you are
Is what I want
I bring my colors
Drip down and drained out
Tried a million things
But my hearts been shy
Well I hope you try to find me
And I am most tired of pacing

Foster The People -- Miss You

Every step that you take
Could be your biggest mistake
It could bend or it could break
That's the risk that you take

...
What if you should decide?

Coldplay -- What If?

It's so funny to make myself repeating those songs.

who cares, tho?

I guess I need someone to lean on to.

Not to say I don't have friends to count on.

I told them everything.

Almost.

I have this little secret. About my life, my family.

Nobody knows it. Other than my 3 bestfriends, including her & her.

It's not about how I live with those secrets.

It's about...

Who I wanna share my secrets with.

Finally, you readers find that there's no relation between my thoughts and those lyrics.

HAHA

Got cha!

Kidding. :p

Okay, back to topic.

*honestly, Coldplay's What If describes how my true feeling is...*

If I ask God to get me a boyfriend, that will be unfair.

I mean, we shall let faith decide it for us, right?

Right????



Yeah, whatever. But how can I overcome with the next failures in my life?

I'm not asking for any failures nor disappointments. Hell no!

There was a week. Toughest one. Where I kept crying over and over again. I kept sobbing every night. These might sound awful.

Because, it was! It was awful.

Painfully awful.

I need someone who would pat my head and say, "it's okay, no need to be worried."



CLICHE?


YES IT DEFINITELY IS!

You may find those words on tumblr posts. *really*


Again, I don't give a fuck.





I shivered one night. I thought, "I'm still alive, however."


It sounds so pathetic, by how I describe it.


After all, I eventually found how to face those problems.

...

I maintain things that keep my guts.






Ps: Thank you for reading my meaningless post. :)